So, I was having fun with the whole manicure/hand thing. I put huge amounts of lotion on my hands at regular intervals to make sure they were hydrated, smooth, and supple. I decided to put off making chicken soup because I didn’t want to pick off the meat from my roasted chicken, fearing for my nails. I was intent on making sure my fingers were in tip-top shape for my first brush with hand modeling stardom.
And it was awesome.
I held an ornament and an apple at various angles and with various finger positions. I tried to channel Eve–tried to make my hands look inviting, a little seductive, relaxed, post-temptation. It was goofy. Silly, even, how seriously I took it. But, it was so much fun! I was sitting in a leather chair, a small padded table in front of me, draped with brown paper. An orangey tinted light shone down on my hand, and a white backdrop was being lit to my right. The cameraman’s camera was off to my left and was entirely impressive–and in the interest of not turning this into some kind of embarrassing metaphor, I’ll just say it was very cool. It was hooked up to an Apple laptop (but of course) and after each picture was shot, it would pop up on the screen. The cameraman would say “Shooting” before he’d press the trigger, so that I could close my eyes and avoid the bright flash. I tilted my hand this way and that, held different ornaments (some with “bites” taken out of them).
Word on the street is that I have some sort of talent at hand modeling. And, apparently hand models make something like $200 an hour! But not in Wilmington. We’d have to move somewhere else. I’m totally willing to make the sacrifice. My new career is calling! I could hold coffee cups! Lipstick tubes! Day planners! Oh, the possibilities!
But, realistically I’d never make it as a hand model. All this attention to my hands has made me notice so many of their flaws. My knuckles are a little too knobby. My hands aren’t as smooth as they could be, a few too many lines here and there. And the ring finger on my right hand is defective. I’m not entirely sure what happened to it, but I used to hold my pencil between my middle finger and my ring finger, and apparently I did that a little too much because the last digit of my ring finger bends in a funny way. If you look at the last digit of your fingers, you’ll probably see a wrinkle maybe a half inch before your nail. My ring finger doesn’t have one of those. I wonder if there is a finger surgeon out there who could correct this? Would that be a business expense? Perhaps there is still hope…
I’m moving to New York to become a hand model
So, I was having fun with the whole manicure/hand thing. I put huge amounts of lotion on my hands at regular intervals to make sure they were hydrated, smooth, and supple. I decided to put off making chicken soup because I didn’t want to pick off the meat from my roasted chicken, fearing for my nails. I was intent on making sure my fingers were in tip-top shape for my first brush with hand modeling stardom.
And it was awesome.
I held an ornament and an apple at various angles and with various finger positions. I tried to channel Eve–tried to make my hands look inviting, a little seductive, relaxed, post-temptation. It was goofy. Silly, even, how seriously I took it. But, it was so much fun! I was sitting in a leather chair, a small padded table in front of me, draped with brown paper. An orangey tinted light shone down on my hand, and a white backdrop was being lit to my right. The cameraman’s camera was off to my left and was entirely impressive–and in the interest of not turning this into some kind of embarrassing metaphor, I’ll just say it was very cool. It was hooked up to an Apple laptop (but of course) and after each picture was shot, it would pop up on the screen. The cameraman would say “Shooting” before he’d press the trigger, so that I could close my eyes and avoid the bright flash. I tilted my hand this way and that, held different ornaments (some with “bites” taken out of them).
Word on the street is that I have some sort of talent at hand modeling. And, apparently hand models make something like $200 an hour! But not in Wilmington. We’d have to move somewhere else. I’m totally willing to make the sacrifice. My new career is calling! I could hold coffee cups! Lipstick tubes! Day planners! Oh, the possibilities!
But, realistically I’d never make it as a hand model. All this attention to my hands has made me notice so many of their flaws. My knuckles are a little too knobby. My hands aren’t as smooth as they could be, a few too many lines here and there. And the ring finger on my right hand is defective. I’m not entirely sure what happened to it, but I used to hold my pencil between my middle finger and my ring finger, and apparently I did that a little too much because the last digit of my ring finger bends in a funny way. If you look at the last digit of your fingers, you’ll probably see a wrinkle maybe a half inch before your nail. My ring finger doesn’t have one of those. I wonder if there is a finger surgeon out there who could correct this? Would that be a business expense? Perhaps there is still hope…