I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, but everything is too big to put into words just yet. Everything is a little too big still. I feel 2009 is going to be a changing year. Things have been calm here. Things have been steady-as-she-goes here. Things have changed, but nothing has changed course. I can’t put it into words, but I feel next year will not be like this one.
I’ve been surprisingly productive this week so far, for being in the mental funk I’ve been in. I’ve knocked out nearly all the Christmas cards and letters, paid bills, balanced the checkbook, took Oliver to the vet for a vaccination (these cats are our own economic recession–two trips to the vet in the past week, ouch), stocked up on stamps, deposited a check, worked, cooked, cleaned, read. I had lunch today with one of the small group leaders from my “pod” (more later) to discuss the best way to help someone in her group with some heavy life decisions. I had a long, calming phone conversation with Simona, who encouraged me not only with her words but also the deep happiness I heard in her voice.
Oliver hates going to the vet. Oliver is not a normal cat in anything he does, and in his hatred of the vet he is characteristically extreme. All he needed was a rabies shot, and it took a muzzle that covered his entire head and two people to hold him down while the vet gave him the shot. He didn’t even react to the needle, so I doubt he felt it. He was just convinced they were going to kill him, and he wasn’t going down without a fight. He was going to show them.
And today I thought of Jonah. About how his story ends so abruptly, with him miserable and whining, not about the fish or anything like that, but about the plant that grew up and gave him shade one day and died the next. A metaphor, and he missed it. And I wondered what Jonah’s life was like after Nineveh. Did he ever get it? What is life after the city doesn’t fall?
I tried to think of how to end this and came up with nothing. No grand metaphor. No image to pull it all together. Just a weight, Regina Spektor’s “Samson,” and an improbable sense of hope.
7 Comments
Yes, 2009 will be a changing year: we have a new President, whose entire mission is to change the way things have been for the past – I don’t know – century? We have a global recession, that many people (half of myself included) feel is heading towards a depression. And if that happens, we’re no longer the “big dog”: there are too many superpowers out there to allow us the rebound we had way-back-when.
But there’s still a hope. We’re afforded one caveat that a majority of the world isn’t. When it gets more than we can handle, Dad will drop down and pick us up. And if He doesn’t come, well, then we can endure it, because He promised us that.
And, when He does send for us, we can leave this earthly kingdom to its kings… and with it, all our unpaid credit card debt!
*Sidenote: If Visa is everywhere I want to be, how come I’m never invited to come along?*
Yes, change is certainly coming. Some of it will be good change, and some bad. Economic recession/possible depression=bad. New president? Well, you know my take on that one.
If America loses its superpower status, we probably deserve it, though I hope we’ll have a chance to at least try to make up for the past eight years. It amazes me how much damage can be caused in a relatively short period of time.
I think your Visa card is inviting you to go lots of places–just rack up a bunch of debt and pay Visa twenty percent interest! Come on, you know you want to!
Woah, I didn’t know my sideways smiley would turn into that little picture. It looks kind of maniacal!
Melissa and I have been feeling the same way about 2009. Change is on the horizon, and not small things. I feel like it is going to be big and obvious for us all. It is amazing to see other people feel the same way.
Our country will definitely be different next year. Whether that will be for the better or worse is yet to be seen. But I think the change goes much deeper than that.
It is interesting that you guys are going through something similar. Do you think it’s our age? The fact that everyone is having babies? Or the political/social/economic climate? Global warming? Maybe there’s something in the water…
To be honest, I really think that God is going to really do some big things in our community (both geographical and spiritual) next year. I am not typically the type of person who says things like that. My nature is cynical and skeptical, to a fault sometimes, but I think His movement will be very evident.
Our age and life situations definitely impact our perspective on the world around us. I think it makes us more aware of the changes and more intuitive to how they will affect us.
In that case, I’m even more eager to see what changes 2009 will bring. There are a lot of people who throw around statements like “God is going to do big things,” but a lot of times it’s just something to say. You’re not one to take those words lightly, which I appreciate.