So, as I’ve recently come to the realization that life doesn’t end at twenty-six, I’ve been attempting to act like it. Thus, the solo beach trip on Monday “just because. ” Then Monday evening Jesse and I went to a graduation party for a guy he works with. A high school graduation party. My only really “old” moment was when I mentally estimated one of the kids’ ages to be fourteen and later found out he had just graduated high school. And then I thought, oh dear heavens, this child is going to college. He probably drove himself here. Were we all that young at eighteen? Anyway, we all played Catchphrase, and got noisy. Jesse and I were only two of three people attending who had heard the word “trifecta.”
Then last night Jesse and I went to Overflow, our church’s mid-week thing for college students and twentysomethings. I had never gone before, since I didn’t feel I fit the demographic, but last night they had free food and you know Jesse and I will eat anything free right now. So, we ate the free food and watched an auditorium full of people playing dodgeball like their lives depended on it. And it was fun. (Except when a stray ball hit my head. Even though I was sitting quite far from the action. That wasn’t so fun.) It made me realize that I can still fit in that demographic. I’m still a twentysomething, for crying out loud. I’m not thirty yet (and even then–our friend Stewart, who’s in his thirties, came by last night too and he fit right in, so apparently fun doesn’t have to stop at thirty either). I may be married, I may have a mortgage and a yard, but I can still watch a game of dodgeball, I can still stay up late and play games and act silly and laugh a little too loudly.
I was talking to Beth on the phone yesterday, and we were talking about purpose, about direction. I told her I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and say, “Well, I paid all my bills on time.” (Although I do have a certain affection for paying my bills on time and have no intention of stopping.) I want to have something a little more important to say. Not that I have to be an important person or do important things. But I want what I do to matter.
These are the two elements for me, in regaining my footing in this quarterlife thing. Recapturing a sense of fun, of spontaneity and lightheartedness. And refocusing my efforts, regaining hope and vision and purpose. I finally feel I’m getting traction on both elements.
This is getting good.
4 Comments
You’re an important person to me.
Aw, you’re sweet Caitlin. Thank you.
Yes, let me tell you. Life doesn’t end at 26 because it hasn’t ended at (almost) 29. At least I’m determined that it doesn’t. There are all those old sayings about being young at heart, only as old as you feel, etc. And while those things are true, there is also the fact that as adults, we are older than those teenagers and very early twenty-somethings. Being responsible for paying one’s own bills on time each month (and a mortgage, at that) does mature us. BUT, we can still fit into that youthful demographic (perhaps not as snugly as we once did), but we still fit as long as we want to fit and feel that we do. I credit Seth with keeping me younger than I might otherwise be. Between skateboarding and being in a band, he is still rocking that twenty-something age group even though he’s in his early thirties. So keep going to youth events if you want, and check out the dodgeball game, just try not to get hit!
Yes, you are absolutely right! I can still enjoy acting young without some of the drawbacks of actually being in that stage of life. And go Seth for staying fun and active! And you as well–you’re off to law school, which definitely is a mature thing to do, but it’s also fairly momentous and shows that you’re still a go-getter.