Zea, I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I don’t know where I got this ridiculous desire for politeness even when it’s not called for. I would like to shed that habit, but I’m not very good at kicking bad habits. Like eating too much sugar. I know all the reasons not to. I just…don’t listen to myself very well.

Audrey: I know–something terrible must have happened with my meal. I know plenty of people who have been to the restaurant and liked it. And yes, we did tip, our usual amount. It wasn’t the waiter’s fault, and I had plenty of opportunities to complain about the food and give them the chance to correct it, so it’s my own fault.

Yana: When we’re in our fifties, we’ll have it down pat (you’ll get there in your forties, I’m sure, but it will take me an extra decade), and restaurants will not dare seat us at undesirable tables or present us with subpar food!

Sabrina: (See above re: tipping) Dad only complained about the credit card thing once, since he’d just heard something about someone’s card number being stolen that way. He thought the restaurant should take a check, but they didn’t go for that, so they ended up letting him back to the credit card machine with the waiter. No, he’s not the most trusting guy in the world, but he also doesn’t get taken advantage of. I don’t think he’d ever take a check at a yard sale.

As for the point about tipping, it’s supposed to be a reflection of the service, not the food. It sucks when the server gets dumped on for something that he has no control over. (And no, I’ve never worked in the food service industry at all; it’s just an observation.)

What I thought was interesting was how you described your dad’s suspicions about what the server could be doing with his credit card. You felt so guilty about suspecting the worst of the old lady who wrote you a bad check, but it sounds like you were conditioned to be wary of misplacing your trust. That said, I’ve never had a server use my credit card number for additional purchases (I triple-check every charge on my credit card statements when I balance my ledgers), but I have had a couple of servers decide that they wanted a bigger tip and charge an extra dollar to my card when they rung me up, thinking I’d never notice.