Passing

Life lately is a blur–a series of classes taught, plans made, meals eaten. My in-laws were in town this weekend, and the time passed much too quickly. We filled it as best we could with neighborhood walks and grocery shopping for dinner and long conversations.

This week is already half gone–how did that happen? My teaching days are long (more than thirteen hours from when I leave the house to when I return), but they pass quickly. I find myself at 2:30 saying, wait, where is the day?

And where is all the time I had to get everything done? Where did that go?

The semester has only five weeks left, plus finals.

Where did the semester go?

It’s almost April. Where has the year gone?

At the same time, I feel everything I am looking forward to is lodged solidly in the distant future. Or, the possible future. (That would be where writing lives. Sigh. Still, I plug away.) So while time seems to be passing by at an alarming rate, I don’t feel any closer to my goals.

I’m learning (however slowly) to appreciate where I am. Not look forward so much. This is a lesson I am re-learning again and again.

So for today, I will write and I will water the plants and take a walk and start reading a new book. I will eat dinner with friends. And I will try not to think about anything beyond that. Because I know one day I’ll be looking back on this time, thinking how good I had it, and missing aspects of how I’m living right now. I will try to keep that in mind.

 

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One Comment

  1. Becki
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    I’m always looking too far into the future, and wish that I could cultivate the skill of living in the present.

    Sadly, I’m not sure if I will ever be able to cultivate said skill.

    The days are passing ridiculously fast this year. I’ve given up on trying to make sense of why that is, so I’m just holding on for dear life.

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