Change

No, this post is not about politics.

(To some of you: Sorry.)

(To the rest of you: You’re welcome.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. All the changes we’ve undergone the past couple years. The changes we might see in the coming few. We’ve stayed in the same city, in the same house, with the same cats, but it seems like everything else has been up for review the past couple years. Our church home, our friends, our jobs, our life direction, our politics, our outlook.

We still really like Indian food.

So, there are some things that haven’t changed.

Has anyone else experienced years of almost non-stop change? I’d love some advice, some words of wisdom. How did you get through it? Does it ever stop? How does one continually come under change after change and keep up the energy to face new ones as they come along?

I’m just tired, is all. There were times in my life when I welcomed change, embraced it. My hope is I’ll get back to that place again.

In the meantime, Indian food. It’s the best. Really.

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Keepers

Sometimes, I wonder why everything we own is covered in cat hair. Why are the perfectly clean clothes, in the closet no less, dotted with tiny little cat hairs?

Then, I walk into the living room, where our laundry is drying on the little wooden drying rack and on the couches. And then I know why.

Right after that picture was taken, Gracie jumped down to the floor, where Oliver sat. She curled up at his feet, and he gave her a bath. And then I didn’t care about all the cat hair on our clothes.

Yes, they’re keepers. Shedding fur and all.

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Bowl Cat

Why is the punch bowl such an attractive spot for Oliver? I offer no theories. Only pictures.

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Fall Break

Thursday, I was in my office trying to grade some literature essays after class. My head hurt. My eyes ached. I struggled to concentrate. I remembered a coupon I’d received for a free coffee, so I dug that out of a desk drawer and walked to the library for some caffeine. The sun outside was bright and hot. I was at the end of a difficult week, the last full week before fall break, and I was limping to the finish line.

The last couple weeks have been long, difficult, and stressful. I’ve been feeling frayed. Perpetually tired. On my way home from class Tuesday, I stopped to buy bubble bath and nail polish. A feeble attempt at helping myself make it to the end of the week.

But make it I did. The coffee Thursday afternoon perked me up enough to finish some grading before an Ann Hood lecture across campus.

And as I sat in the dim theater and listened to Ann talk about writing and reading and grief and knitting, I felt quiet and thoughtful. My eyes relaxed, and my headache eased away. The talk was inspiring and emotional and the perfect, perfect end to the week and beginning to my fall break.

After the talk, I chatted with some coworkers at a reception back at our building. I ate cheese and crackers. I felt lighter. Then I drove home, picking up a pizza on the way, and watched as the sun set over the river, lighting up the clouds in a blaze of orange and yellow.

My break so far has been restorative. Friday I did little other than read a novel, play tennis, and take a bubble bath. Jesse and I talked about our dreams. I watched A. and M. for a few hours, and we played outside in the balmy end-of-summer evening air. Yesterday, I had a nice long talk with one of the best human beings on the entire planet, Simona, and we too talked about our dreams. It’s so wonderful to talk to someone who understands how necessary it can be to have impossible dreams, and to be trying to make them come true. Everyone needs a Simona.

This weekend, Jesse and I have been painting our bedroom. It has been a bright orange–an exciting, happy color. But lately, it’s felt overstimulating, overpowering. We’re painting it gray. Neutral. Soothing. We’ve got a couple coats of primer on the walls, and we’re just about to start the color. It feels good to paint the walls. A new start. Exactly what a break should be, a time to rest and a time to recharge and a time to connect and a time to start over.

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The End of September

Last week was busy, busy, busy. The semester barrels onward. Book circle meetings, committee work, research, faculty meetings. Class prep. Quizzes to grade. Midterms to write. And last week was the first week of a memoir writing class I’m teaching for OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute). That class. Let me tell you. I absolutely adore it. The writers are amazing, their work is amazing, the material we get to discuss is amazing. And we eat cookies.

By the end of last week, though, I was beat. Friday was the last official day of summer. We decided to celebrate fall’s arrival on Saturday by going to the beach. We got up and cleaned the house and then drove down to Oak Island. But first, food. We ate at a little barbeque restaurant–BBQ sandwiches with slaw and fries and hush puppies–and once we were sufficiently stuffed, we left and then sprawled ourselves on some sand.

We spent hours on the beach, staring out into the ocean, talking about life and art, playing Bocce. Up the beach a ways, a couple of men wrestled with some fishing poles. Watching them, we realized they were about to bring something in. A little knot of people came to watch. It seemed to be taking them quite a while to get the fish in. What was the trouble? We saw something in the water and realized that what they were bringing in was not a fish. It was a sting ray.

Jesse and I hopped up and jogged down the beach to watch. The men finally got the ray out of the waves, somehow managing to avoid its barb. They cut the line and removed the hook as the ray flapped on the sand. It was beautiful–its dark waving fins, its pale white belly, its whipping tail. The men moved the ray back to the water, and it swam away, much to our collective relief.

The rest of the afternoon was sleepy. There was just a little hint of a chill in the air, and at one point I used an extra beach towel as a blanket, shielding myself from the wind. Fall was, it appeared, actually on its way. This would probably be the last time we went to the beach until next summer.

Eventually, we bid the ocean goodbye and made our way back home. The rest of the weekend, we talked about and worked on creative projects. I edited my book. Jesse worked on a homemade musical instrument. Sunday afternoon, we walked around the mall and came up with story ideas, inventing a little relay-like game. I’d come up with an idea, and then Jesse would come up with one, and then we’d start over again. It was fun. It was silly. And we had a long list of characters and conflicts when we were done.

Now another week is under way. Jesse and I got up early this morning so we’d have time to work on our projects, and we both had a productive Monday. I hope this is a sign the week will be a good one, though I hope it’s at least a little less tiring than the one before it…

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